Asking whether or not I "loved" someone who was abusive is a codependent question. As is putting the onus of compassion back on the person who is trying to move on.
It's possible to love someone from a distance. It's possible to love someone while moving on and living a better life. In fact -- as Brené Brown pointed out -- having those boundaries can create space for compassion, and even for love. Boundaries can break the cycle of abuse and allow us to protect ourselves and live our best lives -- regardless of what the other person is or isn't doing.
No, that isn't "revenge," but that was kind of my point. Feeling the need for "revenge" or thinking about what the narcissist or abuser or whoever does and about how to get "revenge" on them and how they'll react is still codependent and is still enmeshment with the abuser/narcissist. To really recover, we need to move on and stop worrying about revenge.
