I've been working in schools on and off since 1995. I think a lot of this has to do with increasing helicopter parenting (where parents swoop in to solve every problem for their child) and more recently lawnmower/snowplow parenting (where parents prevent problems by plowing a nice clear path their children can walk down -- never mind if it leaves Other People's Children -- often POC and/or lower SES -- to shovel their way out of the wake of crud they left). Sadly, this has produced some young people who don't know how to solve their own problems, and often don't even know what to do when they encounter a problem. As you've noticed, there's a passivity, where some just wait passively for someone else to swoop in and solve the problem for them, or to plow a clear pathway so they can just follow the yellow brick road. then some fail to even do that and then sit there on their hands and wait for someone to notice that they're not progressing and take them by the hand and solve that.
I've noticed this increasingly at the college level, and I was in a department of codependents who thought that "good teaching" meant doing this. It's part of why I retired early.
This form of parenting is creating more anxious teens with mental health issues, and also some young people who are completely unprepared to take even the first steps into adulthood independently.
Some scholars say it also goes back to socio-economic stressors (it always does). The middle class is shrinking, and middle class parents see that and are freaking out, so there are currently high perceived incentives for taking a very hands-on approach in attempt to ensure that their child makes the cut and makes it into a nice middle-class life.
It's also true that the cost of college, coupled with more competition for good jobs, has made the consequences of screwing up more expensive and severe than when we were young. As a middle class Gen X-er, there was a little more slack in the system and we could go be deadheads or whatever and still be able to walk into a decent job.
From corresponding with Gen X-ers, I would also say that some are possibly overcorrecting for their own childhoods, when many were neglected or even abused. They want their children to have a better experience, but they perhaps swung too far in the other direction where they're chauffeuring their children to and from school each day (have you seen the school drop off and pick-up lines?) validating every feeling, and protecting them from every Bad Person who might make their children feel less good about themselves for even a few minutes.
Whatever the case, it's sad to see so many young people who don't know how to set up their own volunteer hours and have no idea how to handle it if they have a housemate issue, get a speeding ticket, or fail a class.
